the bucket has a hole in it.

What’s up people! It’s been ages since my last date. Loads of things have happened since I last blogged; World War 2 was declared and actually won, Saddam Hussein was found in a hole in Iraq and subsequently executed, George W Bush found a stray nostril hair poking out and was therefore savagely assaulted by a vicious pretzel.

As I guess most of you all realized eons ago I took down my blog due to the absurdly massive amount of spam I receive on a daily basis, most of which were politely inviting me to partake in sinful activities involving pharmaceutical products, mothers and daughters, lose weight dramatically, increase the girth and size of an unmentionable organ and last but not least have fun with animals. Yeah, in that way too. The rest of the lot involved random people enthusiastically thanking me for putting up a wonderful and great site for them to spam. When the spam amounted to more than 30,000 comments, I despairingly threw my hands in the air and proceeded to take off the entire blog of the site.

However, now thanks to the wonderful spam killer software which does everything it promises (and more, much to my dismay) I managed to delete all the spam off the blog and thus decided to risk blogging again. The next person who starts spamming the comment box is going to get a stiff electric drill (with spoon attached) in the eye.

How have you all been? I wish you all a grand “welcome back”. Yes, all 2 of you who actually do read my blog without failure. And to those who, in the last few months, came to the empty-site-which-used-to-be-my-blog, please do yourself a favour and go get a fucking life. I mean, it’s very sweet of you to be sitting there clicking on the refresh button hoping that something will come up, but honestly, it’s lame just sitting and staring at an empty screen with nothing but the words Error 404.

Trust me. I know.

I’m now in the lovely Singapore sitting in Starbucks writing this down and wondering if I’ll be jailed for writing this down really, really big;

OMG I’M THINKING OF ORAL SEX!
ORAL SEX! (in font size 250pt)
ORAL SEX!!
ORAL SEX!!!

*glances furtively around*

I’m here to attend a job interview in a tiny local advertising agency situated near Geylang Rd. Walking through a street lined with legs which would willingly spread for you while carrying your laptop and a portfolio is a bizarre experience. It’s hard to focus on preparing your presentation when creatures looking not unlike an unholy cross between Elton John, Phua Chu Kang and Queen Latifah try to attract your disgusted attention by thrusting out their fishnet enclosed silicon mammaries in your face. Half of them look like they need wire cutters to shave their legs.

*update*

The place is just as a thought; dodgy. Sitting down here and hugging my portfolio bag and wondering whether the next person who passes by me is going to stab me fucks up your nerve. The entrance to the office is situated in a dingy back alley behind a food court, a 7-11 and a Hotel 81, of all places. Awesome. Everything I need is here.